Don't be Sad
The believer is firm and resolute
(Only those are the believers who have believed in Allah and His Messenger and afterward doubt not….) (Qur'an 49: 15)
As for others:
(So in their doubts they waver) (Qur'an 9: 45)
There was a man who for four years could not decide whether he should divorce his mean and cruel wife. Finally, he went to a wise person to seek advice. The latter asked how long he had been married to her, and the man answered, "Four years." The wise man was astonished and said, "For four years now you have been sipping poison!"
It goes without saying that patience and forbearance are called for in situations similar to that of the previous story, but until when?
At what point do we say, 'Enough!' A sensible person has a good idea whether the ending of such a relationship is good or not, and then he takes action.
Confusion and hesitancy attack people in many different situations, but in the following four especially:
- Deciding upon a major in studies; a person who is weak in making decisions will be uncertain of which faculty to enter. Some people remain undecided even after the deadline for registration has passed. Others study in a faculty for one or two years and then transfer to another; at first, they will be leaning towards religious studies, then economics, then medicine --- gradually wasting away their life in this fashion.
lf the same person had consulted others who have more wisdom and experience than he does, and had sought guidance from Allah, he would have made better use of his time.
- Deciding upon an appropriate job. Some people cannot pinpoint the most suitable job for their temperament. They move from job to job, always dissatisfied with the previous one. Finally, they decide to go into business for themselves. This kind of wavering often leads to financial instability.
I say to such people, "If you are comfortably earning money in the profession you work in, you should stick to it."
- Marriage. Many young people are in confusion, finding it difficult to choose their partner. In this regard, one can easily be influenced by the opinions of others. Sometimes the father deems a particular girl to be worthy of marriage, and the son agrees; however, the mother demurs. (The scenarios are endless concerning choosing a wife.)
My advice concerning marriage in particular is that one should wait until he is satisfied with a girl's religion, looks, and character, because in the case of marriage, we are talking about a woman's life, not some trifle to be discarded when one gets bored.
- Confusion and lack of resolve are common to people who are contemplating divorce. One day, the husband might decide that separation is better, and on another day, he decides that things can be worked out.
The lack of peace in one's life that results from this kind of wavering has to be amended by a resolute decision. Life is short, so we should all try to do our part in making every moment of life a happy one, both for ourselves and for those around us